Each of us have relationship failures in our past. Some of them ended against our will, but others resulted from our ungodly actions and attitudes.
I wish I could say “marriage is easy” and requires little to no effort to keep them flourishing. But relationships are never easy – including marriages. Once the honeymoon phase ends and real life begins, they require consistent work to keep them happy and successful.
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When Joe and I got married, I had just turned 21, and he was 23. We both came from stable and loving homes, with both sets of our parents being married a total of 50 years. There were things we admired about both relationships, but his parent’s marriage had one component I had never seen or heard of before. They had never spent a night apart!
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What is the best marriage advice you have ever heard or received? For me, it was always to resolve the root issues of our conflicts and not glaze over them with apologies. Failing to fix the underlying problem or dispute will only create other, more intense battles in the future, so why put ourselves through that?
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Does your closeness diminish as you go through different phases in your marriage? Is it a struggle to stay connected to your spouse when your relationship experiences shifts from seen or unforeseen circumstances?
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My husband Joe and I are opposites in many ways. In most areas, our differences have complemented each other and our marriage. But there have been other differences that have created intense conflict and competition throughout the years.
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Do you and your spouse have the same goals for your marriage? Saying “I do” starts our lifelong journey in marriage, but our relational happiness and fulfillment are never achieved automatically. Instead, they require teamwork and a lot of it.
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It never fails. It seems like once we get our marriages steady and on firm foundations, we encounter a season of change that throws all our hard work on its head and forces us to start the process over again.
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I sat Joe down and told him what I was sensing from the Lord. At first, he was a bit shaken by the shift it would bring to our 28-year partnership in our (current) ministry. But true to his Christlike character, he was super supportive of me and what Jesus called me to accomplish, even when it required sacrifices on his end.
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Do you and your spouse barely tolerate each other at times? How would you define your current season of marriage? Survival mode? Walking on eggshells? Fight or flight? Are you putting up with each other just to avoid another argument?
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My husband, Joe, has always been my best friend. But over the past few years, as I found myself entangled in a very messy and painful ordeal, his allegiance, dependability, and compassion soared to levels that surprised even me.
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We have all seen healthy, godly marriages. But how did they get that way? Though every relationship is unique, godly marriages all share some basic core values that help them experience the blessed relationship Jesus intended for their marriage.
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None of us want our marriage to grow stale or become non-existent. We got married to stay married, and happily at that, right? Here are five things that have helped my 32-year marriage last and thrive:
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What element makes a marriage healthy and successful? Is it mutual interests? Financial stability? Having children? Owning a home? These components are all blessings, no doubt. But can marriages be healthy without them? Absolutely!
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In our 32 years of marriage, life has been hectic. We have raised two children, built a 27,000 square foot ministry center, started an outreach ministry, pioneered a Christian school, and currently run two ministries to the poor in cities 100+ miles away from each other.
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Once, I was told, in a round-about way, to respect my husband by biting my tongue and not addressing his offenses toward me. I can tell you with 100% certainty that I would not have the incredibly close and loving (32-year) marriage relationship I have today had I followed this person's guidance.
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I have talked to women who have completely lost themselves and their identities after years of working tirelessly to fulfill their husband’s array of expectations. Whereas other women have experienced so much resentment from those burdens that they become emotionally numb.
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No matter how difficult your marriage issues are, nothing is too difficult for God to fix. However, Satan desires to destroy you, your spouse, and your children personally and is using your marriage as his main point of attack to accomplish it. You cannot let him succeed!
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On the horrifying side, we were still two newlyweds trying to adjust to married life, live together in a foreign country, and do full-time ministry simultaneously. Satan took advantage of that opportunity and launched an all-out attack on our relationship.
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In the earlier decades of our marriage, my and my husband’s expectations of each other were a bit all over the place. Some of them were completely realistic, while others clearly were not.
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