The "Magic Formula" for Marriage

When Joe and I got married, I had just turned 21, and he was 23.  We both came from stable and loving homes, with both sets of our parents being married a total of 50 years.  There were things we admired about both relationships, but his parent’s marriage had one component I had never seen or heard of before.  They had never spent a night apart!

We decided to adopt that component into our marriage because we thought it was the “secret ingredient” for producing the perpetual honeymoon state we always witnessed.  How wrong we were!

We quickly learned that great marriages are not the result of magic formulas or gimmicks.  We also realized that no two marriages could be alike because no two spouses are alike.  Therefore, what works great for one relationship might prove disastrous for another.  Those were difficult lessons to learn.

Once Joe and I realized these truths, it gave us the freedom to be ourselves in our marriage rather than trying to replicate someone else’s relationship.  It also enabled Jesus to design our marriage according to His will for us instead of us trying to fit it into someone else’s mold.

Joe and I still have never spent a night apart in over 33 years.  However, that has not been the element that has created or sustained the incredibly close bond we share.  It has been the result of an undying commitment to Jesus and each other, along with immeasurable amounts of hard work and determination to overcome the inevitable challenges of marriage.

My encouragement for your marriage is to allow Jesus to mold and shape it according to His will for your lives.  It is helpful to gather insights and strategies from other relationships you admire, but what Jesus has in store for your marriage cannot be gleaned from others – only Him.  So, seek Him and work hard at what He leads you to do, and your marriage will shine brightly among the other “stars” who might be watching.

We decided to adopt that component into our marriage because we thought it was the “secret ingredient” for producing the perpetual honeymoon state we always witnessed.  How wrong we were!

We quickly learned that great marriages are not the result of magic formulas or gimmicks.  We also realized that no two marriages could be alike because no two spouses are alike.  Therefore, what works great for one relationship might prove disastrous for another.  Those were difficult lessons to learn.

Once Joe and I realized these truths, it gave us the freedom to be ourselves in our marriage rather than trying to replicate someone else’s relationship.  It also enabled Jesus to design our marriage according to His will for us instead of us trying to fit it into someone else’s mold.

Joe and I still have never spent a night apart in over 33 years.  However, that has not been the element that has created or sustained the incredibly close bond we share.  It has been the result of an undying commitment to Jesus and each other, along with immeasurable amounts of hard work and determination to overcome the inevitable challenges of marriage.

My encouragement for your marriage is to allow Jesus to mold and shape it according to His will for your lives.  It is helpful to gather insights and strategies from other relationships you admire, but what Jesus has in store for your marriage cannot be gleaned from others – only Him.  So, seek Him and work hard at what He leads you to do, and your marriage will shine brightly among the other “stars” who might be watching.