Keeping Marital Expectations Realistic
In the earlier decades of our marriage, my and my husband’s expectations of each other were a bit all over the place. Some of them were completely realistic, while others clearly were not.
It is our unrealistic expectancies of each other that cause unnecessary trouble and friction in our marriage. That is why we must stop setting ourselves up for needless disappointment and cease placing unreasonable pressure on our spouses.
Here are three things to help you keep marital expectations realistic:
Accept your spouse for who they are.
God uniquely created your spouse different than you. Allowing them the freedom to be themselves removes the handcuffs of bondage from their wrists and enables them to flourish in their God-given individuality.
Accept your spouse for how they function.
Your spouse will inevitably operate differently than you. Learning to view their variances as appropriate alternatives to how you function squelches an attitude of superiority and enables them to thrive personally.
Accept your spouse has limitations.
Your spouse comes with built-in imperfections and inadequacies. Taking the pressure off them to constantly “perform” or meet every need you have allows them “breathing room” to live in freedom within your marriage.
Remember, marriage was designed by God to be a blessing, not a curse. We can unknowingly generate resentment and hostility by placing unreasonable or unfair expectations upon our spouse if we are not careful. Evaluate your relationship today and identify any unrealistic expectations you have created. Then, remove or replace them with sensible ones that your spouse can meet.