Unrealistic Expectations Are Unrealistic

Whether we intend to or not, we all enter relationships with certain expectations. Marriage is no exception.

On our wedding day, we often wear rose-colored glasses.  We assume the best, expect the best, and eagerly anticipate a life filled with rose petals and dandelions.

We have a vision in our minds of how it “should be,” so we expect our spouse to do things like:

• Meet all our needs and wants.

• Never stop romancing us.

• Always communicate calmly and rationally.

• Listen intently to everything we say.

• Tell us their most inner thoughts and dreams.

• Confide in us about their problems.

• Consult us on every decision.

• Include us in every area of their life.

• And the list goes on and on...

 
But the truth is: our spouse is human and flawed, and so are we, along with our unrealistic expectations.  Marriage is not a commitment we make to begin molding our spouses into who we want them to be.  Marriage is a covenant we enter, having accepted them for who they are in Christ, and choosing to spend our life with them, flaws and all.

That is not to say each of us cannot improve in certain areas.  But setting and placing unrealistic expectations on our spouse never goes well and ultimately damages the relationship in time if insisted upon instead of corrected.  

Have you set unrealistic expectations for your spouse?  Have they with you?  If so, how is that going, and what do you plan on doing about it?