Our Marriage Was Doomed

We had only been married two days, but I was sure our marriage was doomed! I had just turned 21 a few weeks before our rehearsal dinner.  I naïvely believed the unexpected argument we had that morning was a one-time event that would never happen again.  After all, we were getting married the following day to spend the rest of our lives together.  What was there to fight about?

But then it happened—again!

Two days after our wedding, we were in Maui on our honeymoon.  We had just arrived at this tropical paradise and checked into our room as husband and wife.  We were taking in the beauty of our surroundings and enjoying what we thought would be a magical experience.  Then, suddenly, a heated argument erupted, and life in paradise became a living nightmare.

I cannot recall what the fight was about, but I remember feeling like getting married was the biggest mistake of my life.  I literally felt like a dark, black hole shrouded me, and my life was over.  The despair and hopelessness I felt were immense.

When we finally made up from that fight, I hoped it would be smooth sailing moving forward.  But, in reality, it marked the beginning of a tough five months of marriage, with intense arguments erupting almost weekly.

There were times when I thought we would not make it.  Honestly, if Jesus had not called us to serve in Hong Kong away from family and friends during those first five months, I do not think our relationship would have survived.  But God is faithful and gave us what we needed to get through it victoriously.

Looking back on those early months of my 33-year marriage, I realize we both lacked the maturity to appropriately communicate what we were feeling.  We also allowed our negative emotions to rule our actions, resulting in more division between us than unity.

Above all, the main saving grace for us was our commitment to our marriage.  We never gave up on each other despite the difficulties in our relationship.  I am so glad we stayed the course because things drastically improved within two years and have continued on an upward slope ever since.

What about you?  Do you need prayer for your marriage?  Are you in a state of “oh, no!” and need encouragement?  Let me know in the comments.