Excluding Others From Conflicts

Joe and I experienced a lot of marital conflict in the early years of our marriage, especially the first five months.  Living in a foreign country without family or close friends forced us to work out our issues together.

From this experience, Joe and I decided to continue excluding others from our marital conflicts moving forward.  We already knew how difficult it was to deal with our anger toward each other during arguments.  We did not want to make things worse by criticizing each other to family or friends or painting each other as “the bad guy” in situations.

Honestly, this singular decision was tempting to defy at times. But keeping our marital conflicts private has been monumental in building an unmatched level of trust between us.  No matter what type of relational dispute we encounter or how angry or offended we feel, we always know we have each other’s back.  That assurance has helped us focus on resolving our conflicts rather than worrying about what other people think.

Trust is the most crucial component for marital health and success.  It breeds unity, builds oneness, instills confidence and security, and fosters mutual respect.  Without it, I do not think our relationship would have survived with all we have endured.