Resolving Issues Without Arguing

It is so easy to let our emotions get the best of us when communicating with our spouse about marriage issues.  Often, and without warning, our heightened emotions can take us over the edge – and our once productive discussion goes downhill, fast!

Here are a few ways you can avoid arguments while working to resolve issues:

• Seek the Holy Spirit’s Help.

  Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your conversation and help you communicate in godly ways. (See John 14:16-17).

• Stay On-Topic.

  Keep the conversation focused on the “issue or problem” instead of “each other.”  There is a big difference. (See Galatians 5:15).

• Walk in the Spirit.

  Speak and respond to your spouse in the fruit of the Spirit.  Do not “react” emotionally, but rationally and with sound judgment.  (See Galatians 5:22).

• Take Responsibility for Your Actions.

  If you sin, own it.  Do not make excuses or deflect responsibility for it.  (See Proverbs 28:13).

• Call a Time-Out.

  If the discussion becomes tense or starts going in circles, call a Time-Out.  Table the conversation until an agreed-upon time to continue it.  Taking a break allows you to cool down, regroup, and reflect on what has been discussed.  As the saying goes, “A wise man once said nothing.”

Healthy communication during difficult discussions is never automatic but intentional.  That is why our words, attitudes, and actions can make a huge difference in how things go down.  Godly words and attitudes will always minimize the chances of conflict, so we must choose wisely.