Frightening Life-Altering Decisions

In early 2018, my husband and I faced a major decision that would impact almost every area of our lives.  He was asked to take over the leadership of another ministry located over 120 miles away while still running our own.

Although we had suspected “this day” might come, we were not prepared for the situation’s reality and gravity and what it would mean for our daily lives and marriage.

Each of us had many concerns, beginning with whether this was God’s plan and will for our lives.   This position would require him to travel there every other week for three to five days each time.  That element alone was monumental.  However, we had already committed never to spend a night apart from each other 30 years earlier, so accepting this position would require both of us to agree to a complete life-change and partial uprooting, not just my husband.

As you can imagine, there were many fears, apprehensions, and hesitations to work through before arriving at our decision.  We had many brutally-honest conversations about what this would mean for our marriage, family, and local ministry.  We listened to each other’s viewpoints while trying not to discount or dismiss those that differed from our own.  We painfully discussed the good, bad, and ugly elements of the decision, which forced us to face many frustrations of the past with tears.

But at the end of it all, we made a decision – together, and it was the right one.

When facing an important decision in your marriage, always make sure you are transparent and honest with your spouse about your feelings.  Also, give your partner’s viewpoints the same consideration you give your own.  Refusing to discuss feelings openly or devaluing and discounting each other’s input will never lead to the right decision.

The best decisions are ones made in unity.