Open and Honest Communication

We all want that, but what does it even look like?

I remember when Joe and I first got married, our communication was...challenging.  What made it even more difficult were the heightened emotions resulting from a family tragedy that occurred two months before our wedding.  That element alone made our “communication” anything but honest and open but stifled and volatile at times.

Here are some practical steps we took to help our communication be more honest and open:

• Don’t Bottle Up Feelings.

  Talking about bothersome things while in their infant stages helped us keep resentment from developing and kept anger at a minimum.

• Don’t Make Things Personal.

  Keeping discussions focused on the subject matter helped us keep arguments from erupting and encouraged productive communication.

• Don’t Withhold The Truth.

  Gently speaking the truth to each other despite it being hurtful to hear was probably the most difficult yet necessary element for us to incorporate into our communication.  Withholding the truth promotes distrust and disrespect in the long run, so love each other enough to be honest about everything, even when it hurts. 

Open and honest communication requires work – lots of it!  It does not come easy but always takes effort and intentionality to achieve it.  But, in the end, your marriage will reap the benefits of your consistent hard work in more ways than you anticipated.

Which of these elements do you struggle with the most and why?