An Argument Unveiled A Relationship-Changer!

Following a heated disagreement early in our marriage, Joe shared a fear that he had never disclosed before.

I remember feeling frustrated that he did not divulge it previously and disappointed that he struggled with letting me in. I also thought he was the obstacle keeping us from having the deep, emotional connection I desired.

I asked him why he had not shared his innermost thoughts and feelings with me before but did not anticipate his answer.

He said, “I don’t feel safe being vulnerable with you because I’m afraid you’ll use it against me or throw it in my face.”

His words hit me like a runaway freight train.

At that moment, I realized I was equally responsible for building a strong emotional connection in our marriage. I not only needed to provide a safe space for Joe to open up and be vulnerable, but I also had to treat him and the information he shared with the utmost respect and confidentiality. Otherwise, he would always keep me emotionally at an arm's distance.

That discussion transformed our marriage. From that day forward, Joe and I have done our part in facilitating emotional intimacy in our relationship, which deepened our connection in ways we never imagined possible.

What about you? Do you have or want a deep, emotional connection in your marriage? Are you someone who holds your spouse’s innermost thoughts and feelings confidentially? Let me know in the comments.