Feeling Utterly Broken
Have you ever been utterly broken? I have. It was the worst nightmare I had been through, and I never want to go back there again.
It began in the summer of 2008 and lasted for over three excruciating years.
Throughout that entire time, I felt completely helpless and was exhausted in every way possible. After three years without any changes in sight, I finally reached my breaking point emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. My relationship with Jesus was suffering; my prayers had become desperate pleas, and I resorted to begging God to put an end to my “bad dream.”
I often crawled into my shell and suffered alone. I did not talk to anyone about my ordeal except my husband – but as time ticked by, nothing made my circumstances improve. Everything I thought would fix my situation did not, but it only made things worse.
As crazy as it sounds, I was trusting Jesus to intervene but equally doubting His ability to do anything at all. Deep down, I felt like my situation was even too big for God to fix. Facing those doubts and unbelief made me feel ashamed.
One day, after reading Mark 9 and a desperate father’s plea of, “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!” I burst into tears. In my despair, I prayed, “Lord, help me! Help my unbelief! Help me trust You with this situation because I am failing at it miserably!”
Through this encounter, Jesus showed me that I needed to surrender everything to Him instead of trying to fix it myself. I needed to trust Him to do what only He could in the first place – the impossible!
It was only a few days later when I received my breakthrough. But it all began with me surrendering my situation to Jesus and asking Him to help me believe Him once again.
What do you need to surrender to Jesus today and ask Him to help you believe Him for?