My Works-Based Upbringing Came Back To Bite Me

I was raised in a works-based religion that focused primarily on rules, regulations, and outward behavior.  As a result, my perception of God was Him sitting in heaven with a pen and large notebook staring down His nose at me to see if I measured up.

Thankfully, my skewed perception of Him shattered after hearing the gospel at age 20.  A few months later, I committed my life to Jesus by faith, and my life instantly and radically transformed.  The changes I experienced in my mind and heart were overnight, and I knew it was the work of the Holy Spirit living within me.

However, a few years into my relationship with Jesus, my works-based upbringing came back to bite me.  I found myself obeying Jesus to gain His love and acceptance and preserve my salvation.  I believed if I behaved perfectly, God could not reject me in the end.

I did not recognize these lies as satanic at the time.  But believing them successfully stunted my spiritual growth for a while.  I was so afraid of God’s rejection that I was stuck barely past the starting line, unable to move forward in relational intimacy with Jesus.  It was like being newly married but constantly fearful of receiving divorce papers.

One day, I heard a message on our security in Jesus through faith.  But it was not faith in our behavior or striving for perfection.  It was faith in what Jesus already accomplished for us on the cross.

Instantly, my fears vanished!  I was no longer afraid of God’s rejection because I realized nothing I did could add to Jesus’ sufficient work on Calvary.  All I needed to do was repent for putting faith in my obedience and redirect it back to Jesus.

What about you?  Are you feeling insecure with Jesus, or has your spiritual growth been hindered because you depend on obedience to secure your salvation?  If so, I encourage you to redirect your faith to Jesus and believe Ephesians 2:8-9, “For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).